He said that intimacy (not always in the romantic way :) ) is at the root of all successful marriages and also the lack of intimacy is a leading indicator for divorce.
Pastor Ken's definition of intimacy is: A close and affectionate relationship that reaches deeper regions of the heart, resulting in feeling understood and accepted.
We need to view our hearts as holding the treasure of intimacy and do whatever we can to help our husbands reach that treasure...we need to create a pathway for him. We must be aware of the obstacles that are blocking him. These obstacles can be issues from our family of origin, past hurtful words or experiences, and fears or pressures. Be aware of them and communicate about them!
Along those lines, here are some important points to remember:
- Men are more relationally underdeveloped
- How close we feel to one another predicts marital happiness and success
- Another predictor of divorce is the way we communicate with our spouses, which is an indicator of relational closeness
- We need to be strategic in our interactions with our husbands
- Avoid placing blame or assigning motives to his actions
- It is never right to do what's wrong...if you do, it's YOUR sin, even if HE did it first!
- Forgive as you've been forgiven!
- Talk to your husband with the assumption that he knows nothing :)
Remember, we do not need to draw on our own strength...God will give us the strength, wisdom and patience needed to have happy, effective, and long-lasting marriages.
Proverbs 18:21-- Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.
To contact Ken, email him at Ken@marriagegrowers.com
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